Spring is in the air

It’s almost spring. It’s when flowers and love both bloom.  It’s new growth and new love. Even though today isn’t really a springtime day, it’s around the corner.

I’ve started a couple of online friendships with lesbians in my state this last week but nothing earthshaking. Still, it’s like the springtime of my new life. Women who share my love of women are now in my life. They are within a short drive to meet. That’s a start, a spring season.

I’ve been thinking about it and I suppose a lot of people I know suspect that I’m lesbian. I don’t act very hetero. I don’t talk about men. I don’t seem to respond too enthusiastically when a friend points out a handsome man. I often tell people that I have no interest in men anymore. I talk about women I’ve met. And I do stare at women who have low cut blouses and deep cleavage.  It doesn’t bother me if they think I am but I’m not prepared to admit they are right. If anyone ever asked me, I’d admit it readily.

Admitting to myself that I have always been a lesbian was like that breath of fresh spring air I just breathed in this morning. It gives me a sense of freedom from the facade I tried to use to cover up my sexual preference. Sort of like that spring flower poking through the soil and showing its buds…I’m letting my true self be seen. But the daffodil doesn’t scream to the world, “I’m a daffodil!” Instead it just does its thing and the world sees that it’s a daffodil. That’s how I feel about  coming out. Women are beautiful , sexy and attractive to me. I don’t try to really conceal my admiration. The world should recognize me as I am without having to make an announcement.

I want to make love to someone special on a warm summer night on the beach watching the stars this year.  Soft kisses, whispering my love to her…