I thought it would be an easy transition from being a fake straight girl to a genuine lesbian. I was wrong. It’s easy in my mind. I had no problem whatsoever recognizing my sexual preferences. Believe me, I know what turns me on. I had no problem admitting to myself that I have always been lesbian. I have no problem admitting to myself that men don’t light my fire. I’m not out of the closet to friends and family but that is by choice to keep life simpler. But I thought I could certainly find a compatible woman to have an emotional and physical relationship that both of us could find satisfying.
There’s where I hit a rough patch in the road. I know I could fall madly in love with the right woman and love her till death do us part. Deep in my heart, I know there must be a woman who could love me the same way. I often fantasize about waking up to a sweet woman whose head is nestled on my shoulder after a night of love and lovemaking.
What I have found so far is that if I find a woman online who is reasonably stable and near my age, she turns out to have some quirks. I know we all have our quirks but I’d like to find someone whose quirks are not so quirky….you know? The woman who is still clinging to the hope that I’ll be her wife someday just smothers me. I hate being rude but I have to ignore her messages, phone calls and texts sometimes. She would take my every waking moment if she could. She has been an out of the closet lesbian all her life and lived with a woman (who I never hear the end of) for 10 years before leaving her a widow (although not legally married of course). Her goal in life is to find a woman to marry…the legal kind of marry. That isn’t my goal.
I think what I need to find is a woman who has lived most of her life like I have, a fake straight woman. She’s been married many years, had kids and always loved to be near women. A woman who knows what regular living is all about but wants to be loved by a woman and give her love back to a woman. She wants to be independent for the first time in her life and wants a woman who values independence like she does. If I find that woman I know I could melt in her arms with the first kiss. There must be thousands of women out there who have waited all their lives to be able to love a woman. Oh, sweet girl, where are you??
lezbean2u 
I hope you find who you are looking for. I’m a great believer in true love and destiny so I’m sharing my belief and good vibes with you 🙂 Good luck and best wishes.
Thanks for the good wishes! There has to be one woman out there somewhere!
Keep looking, she’s out there! If you are clear on what you want, then don’t settle, life is too short to be hanging around with people that don’t lift you up and make life better.